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Social Anxiety and How to Kick its Ass

One effective way of becoming more comfortable with Social Anxiety is to expose yourself to social situations over and over again. When I say this usually the response I get is “How can I practice when I’m too anxious to show up to the kinds of things that make practice possible?” Before I answer that question I encourage you to consider five points: (1) Social anxiety may mean having to do things differently than everyone else in the beginning. (2) Defeating social anxiety is a matter of skill (knowing what to do) over comfort (doing it). (3) Because social performance is …

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Challenging Irrational Beliefs with the Continuum Technique

The Continuum Technique is a tool used in CBT to help people challenge irrational beliefs about themselves or the world around them. It’s a pretty simple tool that acts as a contrast to harmful beliefs that we simply accept as true or allow to remain unchallenged. We’re going to apply the technique to a hypothetical situation that some folks with OCD may be able to relate to. This example involves someone who believes that contamination is going to create a threat to their baby which can then lead to reduced affection, touch, and play. The belief we are going to challenge is: …

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Does Shame Work?

Before we get into whether shame is effective, we should probably talk about the purpose of shame. Shame has less to do with the morality of a behavior and more to do with the social impact of others knowing about it. The arbitrator of morality is guilt. Not a very effective or accurate arbitrator, but that’s its job. Shame is more about conformity. It is less likely to cause a person to change their behavior and more likely to increase a person’s efficacy in hiding it. Not because the behavior is wrong, just socially or economically harmful and its disclosure …

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Free Supervision for NJ LSW’s

We are looking to provide weekly group supervision to two Licensed Social Workers free of charge in support of obtaining their NJ LCSW. Candidates should hold an LSW and their agencies must be aware and willing to agree to the arrangement as per the NJBSWE. The supervision arrangement must conform to all NJBSWE Regulations. Additionally, the following criteria must be met: -Candidates must currently be engaged in working with vulnerable populations. -Candidates must currently be employed in settings that provide services to vulnerable communities. -Candidates must have and show proof of student debt of $20,000 or more. -Candidates who speak …

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Progressive Muscle Relaxation

A couple of years ago I did a video on PMR and I can’t find it so I did another one based on a few requests from clients who preferred to be guided through the exercise.  I used the cam on my computer (which is about 5 years old) so the quality isn’t terrific – also I hate doing video- but it’s a good exercise and might be worth checking out. If you are experiencing any pain or have an injury just avoid tensing that part of the body when we get to it during the exercise.      

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Loneliness. There’s a skill for that.

We are becoming lonelier and it’s hurting us. 1  This might come as a relief, you probably thought you were the only person without close friends. You’re not and there are plenty of reasons for it. One reason is the changing labor market.2 We have moved away from a manufacturing economy, most of us are in either a service profession or a professional environment.  Both make it more difficult to create and maintain substantial relationships.  We are constantly working as individuals serving other individuals or solving problems.  Work environments have become more competitive, we are moving from one job to …

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Designed For Crisis

The term crisis tends to bring with it thoughts of difficult events and our worst fears including our own mortality. Part of what amplifies our distress is how we approach a crisis cognitively and behaviorally. There are a few things you can do to tap into your own natural ability to cope with a crisis and perhaps even capitalize on it. Rethink How You Understand the Term Many things we consider good or positive events are in fact crises. The birth of a child, going to college, starting your first job, transitioning from one developmental stage to another all involve …

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Suicidality and Safety Plans

One area of critical importance in working with clients who struggle with depression, anxiety, and OCD is ensuring that a thorough assessment of suicide risk and a plan in coping with suicidal ideation is completed during the assessment and throughout treatment.  Even if a client does not have a history of suicidality, a safety plan is a good thing to discuss and have in place. Safety Plans should include the following: Activites that clients have engaged in that have helped them avoid suicide and parasuicidal behaviors in the past or if there is no history, activities they imagine would help them cope. …

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Freedom to Fail

“SpaceX — which Musk touts as replacing NASA and colonizing Mars — has been a literal failure to launch. So many of its rockets have burned up or crashed that Musk, for reasons unknown, has made a blooper reel.” link I’m neither a fan or critic of Musk, I’m not looking to defend his politics, recent comments or his behavior, however, the author of the article made a common mistake – we confuse things not going as expected with failure. Musk, whatever you may think of him, doesn’t appear to fall into this trap. The “blooper reel” of SpaceX seems …

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