Make Decisions Like a Ninja

September 17th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

Decision making can be difficult when we’re struggling with a strong emotion and can be problematic when we’re coping with depression and anxiety. Pros and Cons is a flexible, easy to use and effective CBT skill that can improve our decision-making skills and increase confidence when making decisions. Pros and Cons can be helpful in the following areas: 1. Distress Tolerance: Comparing the Maladaptive coping mechanism to the Adaptive Coping Mechanism 2. Life Skills (exercise, medication compliance, eating well): Comparing, for example, Working Out v. Netflix. 3. Social Anxiety: Comparing Avoiding a Social Event v. Attending 4. Depression: Getting out of …

Loneliness. There’s a skill for that.

August 7th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

We are becoming lonelier and it’s hurting us. 1 This might come as a relief, you probably thought you were the only person without close friends. You’re not and there are plenty of reasons for it. One reason is the changing labor market.2 We have moved away from a manufacturing economy, most of us are in either a service profession or a professional environment. Both make it more difficult to create and maintain substantial relationships. We are constantly working as individuals serving other individuals or solving problems. Work environments have become more competitive, we are moving from one job to …

Freedom to Fail

July 24th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

“SpaceX — which Musk touts as replacing NASA and colonizing Mars — has been a literal failure to launch. So many of its rockets have burned up or crashed that Musk, for reasons unknown, has made a blooper reel.” link I’m neither a fan or critic of Musk, I’m not looking to defend his politics, recent comments or his behavior, however, the author of the article made a common mistake – we confuse things not going as expected with failure. Musk, whatever you may think of him, doesn’t appear to fall into this trap. The “blooper reel” of SpaceX seems …

Of Monkey Bridges and Bánh Mì Sandwiches: from Sài Gòn to Texas

July 9th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

I am not a “book recommender” in my practice, I have a core of books I suggest if clients ask – three of them are CBT or DBT workbooks, the other is Night by Elie Wiesel (yes many folks have still not read that book). I recommend “Night” because it is a powerful demonstration of “Meaning” within DBT’s IMPROVE skill and a source for “Comparison” in ACCEPTS. Well, another book made the list for the same reasons – “Of Monkey Bridges and Bánh Mì Sandwiches: from Sài Gòn to Texas” by Oanh Ngo Usadi. The book is a personal account …

Four Choices

June 30th, 2018jm@ownhope.org0 Comments

DBT presents us with four choices when faced with a painful situation, we tend to be really aware of two (changing the harmful situation, staying miserable) but not so aware of the others. To illustrate the four choices, let’s take the example of a difficult situation at work. In this scenario, let’s imagine you’re boss engages in small talk with your co-workers, takes them out to lunch, etc. and barely gives you a nod in the morning. Our choices may play out in the following manner: (1) Change the Situation- This would involve different strategies including, taking initiative and starting …