Does Shame Work?

Before we get into whether shame is effective, we should probably talk about the purpose of shame. Shame has less to do with the morality of a behavior and more to do with the social impact of others knowing about it. The arbitrator of morality is guilt. Not a very effective or accurate arbitrator, but that’s its job. Shame is more about conformity. It is less likely to cause a person to change their behavior and more likely to increase a person’s efficacy in hiding it. Not because the behavior is wrong, just socially or economically harmful and its disclosure …

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Drive the Feeling

Most of us tend to think about emotions as either good or bad, positive or negative but every emotion can be helpful and destructive.  One goal of DBT and CBT is to help folks use emotions more effectively; to understand the purpose of each emotion and to decide how to use emotions (if at all) in achieving our objectives.  One important step is to determine whether the context or situation reasonably connect to the feeling. If they do, then we work towards figuring out how to abide by the emotion effectively. If they don’t then we act opposite the emotion. …

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